Listening to: Don't make me love you by Christina Aguilera
Reading: coming out to play by robbie rodgers
Watching: My daily crazy fan art needs
Hello everyone on DA.
this is my first journal entry in over 5 freaking months! I'm sorry I have not posted anything since. I'll just make this quick and just reflect on many crazy things that has happen to me this past year.
1. january 2014 - had a rough start with my crap new job, enjoyed the grammys, and became addicted to the gay club scene in downtown el paso.
2. february 2014 - I had without a doubt, THE greatest valentines day ever in my young adult life by inviting former go go dancer "mike garcia" into a hotel for the first time without telling a soul and he made love to me and I had even had my first kiss. and butt naked on my first date.
3. march 2014 - on march 13th, is a day I will forget, I had officially lost my virginity to a hot mexican gay guy! of course I'm talking about mike garcia. I loved the guy so much, I even followed his car all the out the dark, desolate city limits almost till 4:00 in the morning and I just had to turn back hoping I would make it home okay and I did. I also visited my sister in san francisco for the first time. what a fantastic month that was!
4. april 2014 - me and mike did it again at the same hotel on april 10th. on the morning of april 12th, I was told that my brother is gonna be a dad! with so much emotional turmoil going on with family, I just decided to let my big secret to my mom saying was gay but the news of my brother having a baby out of wedlock was more the shocker than me coming out instead.
5.may 2014 - on the 6th of may I decided to do another hotel booty call date with mike, but our old hotel was full and I quickly had to find a new one. so I called mike again and said, let's try the doubletree hilton. so we had a room, expensive as fuck but hey, I wanted it, the date lasted only one hour because mike's fucking mom called while we were buck naked about to have sex! the bitch told him to go get his brother out of traffic. so our hotel booty call date was over like that! I was pissed off!
6. june 2014 - it was a hot summer of just endless club going parties and my addiction to making mike garcia my one and only lover and paying him to have sex with me had reach an all time high. showing him with roses and getting to make out with him in his car, and creating such jealousy towards his fat ugly gay admirers. on the 29th, I had finally got him to come over to my house while my parents were away out of town. It was a close, very intimate date, and would be the last time I would have sex with him.
7. july 2014 - I started to get way too attached to mike than ever before. showing up at places he promised he be there but never did showed up. and I just got so crazy angry with him for leaving me hanging waited for him. it all change on july 5th, the day I considered to be THE worst day of my whole year. I showed up at epic nightclub where mike works on saturday nights, I showed up and to my most greatest fears, I saw mike garcia making out with this fat, ugly piece of shit faggot barfly named alejandro garcia and I got so fucking mad, I started screaming at him, ordering to talk to me, and I even threw a used piece of gum to get his attention. he sorta looked mad but I didn't care. and when I touched him, he forcefully pushed my hand away. and that's I knew he never really loved me. the day after, I tried to get him text me back, I got no response, so I get mad and said, talk to me now or i'll post naked picture of you on facebook and finally he responded, "okay, then i'll tell your dad you're gay and we had sex in your house!" so argued through facebook messenger texting and we just broke up like i'm nothing to him. and my romantic life would just be a constant challenges and disappointments for me from then on.
so that's pretty much sums up all the craziness that I went through in 2014. I can only learn from my mistakes and hope for the best in 2015. love you .